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slowbellie's take on: some kind of monster

Okay. First off, we can't write any article about Metallica without first noting their great success; the fact that they are one of those mega-bands out there that have managed to dish out five kick-ass albums that define eighties "metal" (I use this term loosely, because metal is so undefined – Pantera? Hardcore Swedish and German metal bands?). But be warned: if you are a fan of Metallica, it's best to just look at the fairly-cool cover of their movie "Some Kind of Monster" and keep on walking. Choosing to pick it up and watch it may destroy any previous feelings about these guys – guaranteed. "Some kind of disaster" might have been a more appropriate title...

What happened to Metallica? You would think twice about that rush of power and testosterone you feel when listening to Ride The Lightning if you saw Hetfield, Hammett and Ulrich as a bunch of whiny middle-aged men crying to their therapist about their feelings for two and a half hours. Sure it's okay to show the softer side of a tough guy exterior from time to time, but when you start crying to some lame therapist after every practice session about your feelings – crying about your 90 million records sold, it just makes that "rock icon" image melt a bit into this pathetic puddle. And what was up with Dave Mustaine of Megadeth tearing up about the past and always being number two? Pretty simple, Dave – if you would have gotten yourself a half-decent singer, you would have been number one.

A couple of years ago our producer, Geno, was standing at the front counter of the gym he owned, when this kid of about fourteen or fifteen came in. A big fan of Metallica, he owned every T-shirt they ever printed. When asked what he thought of the new album that just came out (Saint Anger), this kid replied he's trying to like it, but it just doesn't fit; there are no catchy riffs, and not one blazing guitar solo. That says something for the young people out there craving that old-school style. Advice: always let Kirk get in a solo or two, that's what makes Metallica so great.

At the very least, this movie sheds a good light on new bassist Robert Trujillo, who's been unjustly blamed by some for the new sound of Saint Anger. Trujillo came in after all the songs were finished, written by these three original guys we've been so loyal to. And the guy has good sound - maybe he can get some power in the group and get Metallica back on track, who knows?

In the movie, the band’s manager, Cliff Bernstein, hails the group, saying "You guys have come full circle, back to your strong roots." We say, years ago when the band was fresh and new, we don't think there was a $40,000/month shrink having to attend all of the practices. And while Bob Rock really did help the band for the Black Album, it's obvious that too much of someone is simply too much – see the movie, and you'll understand what we mean.

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